The Importance of Win-Win Negotiations—And How to Get There
Knowing how to effectively negotiate is critical to career advancement. Yet one tendency I’ve noticed in our Women in Leadership and Learning Program (WILL)—as well as SHAMBAUGH’s other leadership training and executive coaching programs—is that women often lack confidence and conviction in their negotiating skills. Many women have expressed to me that while they have no problem advocating for others on their team and negotiating on their behalf, they dislike negotiating for their own needs because asking for something makes them feel selfish.
Yet it’s a fine line between putting yourself first and being so focused on your desired outcome that you fail to think about the bigger picture. This happened with one of SHAMBAUGH’s executive coaching clients—let’s call her Ashley—who came to me with a perplexing problem. Ashley wanted to get promoted in the next 6 months. She was already recognized as someone who was creative, dedicated, and efficient and she had the ambition to climb up the ranks. However, her current workload would not give her the time and visibility to demonstrate that she was ready to get promoted.
She knew she had to clearly communicate her desire to get promoted, but also knew that her boss would have concerns about timing, budget, and the loss of her expertise to the team.
Ashley proposed a phased approach: she would take on additional responsibilities over the next 6 months, demonstrating her capability to handle the manager role. If successful, the promotion and corresponding salary increase would be formalized.
This approach would be a win-win for Ashley and the company. For the company, it meant that Ashley would mentor junior members, elevating the whole team’s capability. There would also be a succession plan in place once Ashley gets promoted. For Ashley, it means she could delegate her current workload and free her time to work on a high-visibility and high-impact project for the company that can get her promoted in 6 months.
The key to Ashley’s negotiation success was she approached it with “we” not just “me” in mind—in other words, striving for win-win negotiations. When done correctly, win-win negotiating results in both parties feeling like they got something that they wanted. What’s more, when you see negotiating as a practice that can help others achieve their goals as well, you might feel better about going to bat for yourself.
Here are some negotiating strategies that will help you achieve victory for all parties at the table:
Understand What They Want
A precursor to negotiating should be taking the time to research and fully comprehend your counterpart’s goals and needs. Knowing what your negotiating partner wants—whether that includes your manager, leadership team, and/or organization—takes you halfway to creating a win-win. The other half of the equation is successfully communicating how your “ask” results in the other party getting what they want as well.
With that in mind, when formulating your request, your concern should be bridging the gap between what you want and your boss’s or company’s concerns and interests. Questions such as “How do we both do well?” and “How would you define success?” can help move the discussion in the right direction.
Make Sure Everyone Feels the Negotiations was Fair for Both Parties
It’s counterintuitive to approach negotiations by drilling down into what the other party wants—but as with many things in life, that’s often the best way to reach your own goals as well. Ensuring that the people you’re negotiating with feel positive about the larger outcome of your ask can help seal the deal on what you’re requesting.
As you prepare for these discussions, be proactive in thinking about who you’ll be negotiating with. You need to make a convincing case that if they grant your request, it will serve not only your own interests, but theirs too. If you do this successfully, your negotiating counterpart will be much more likely to agree to your terms—resulting in a win-win. If you aren’t sure what their goals and needs are, then do some research or ask questions to find out.
Don’t Assume—Get Curious
How exactly can you determine what the other party wants and needs? You might think you know what they want or assume you know how they’ll answer your request. But instead of jumping to conclusions, the key to a more collaborative approach involves approaching your negotiation with curiosity. This method will help you achieve a win-win when asking for what you want.
As you do this, it helps to avoid asking for something in such a way that the person on the other side of the table is forced to say yes or no in a black and white way, which could leave you with a definitive no. It’s smarter to integrate their concerns and interests with your request by keeping an open mind. If you haven’t been able to unearth their point of view prior to the negotiation, it’s fair to explore what they want during the negotiation itself. By asking open-ended questions with phrases that imply joint benefit, you can encourage them to share their perspective, such as: “How can we make this work for both of us?” If you can balance listening with asking questions before getting to the answer, you’ll be well on your way to mastering a win-win negotiation.
Take the Next Step to Win-Win Negotiating
If you want to kickstart building your negotiation prowess, I invite you to join our upcoming Women in Leadership and Learning (WILL) Program on September 17-18 and October 22-23. This not only brings you together with a cohort of other ambitious women, but also provides an opportunity for 1:1 executive coaching within 30-60 days after finishing the program. Contact Kate Alves at kavles@shambaughleadership.com to learn more.
BONUS OPPORTUNITY: Elevating Your Strategic Leadership Webinar
Our third installment of the Women in Business Leadership Series is about “Elevating Your Strategic Leadership” will be held on September 11, 11:30 ET. Watch out for the registration link on our website (shambaughleadership.com). Register early and take advantage of the early bird rate of $30. Rates increase on September 5!
If you or your team have advice for women in leadership that you’d like to share or questions you’d like to ask about this topic, please reach out to me at info@shambaughleadership.com.
Link to SHAMBAUGH’s offerings on Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Coaching and Development Programs for Women, Keynotes and Fireside Chats.
Rebecca Shambaugh is President of SHAMBAUGH Leadership, and Founder of Women in Leadership and Learning and author of the best-selling books It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor and Make Room for Her: Why Companies Need an Integrated Leadership Model to Achieve Extraordinary Results.
Find out more about us at: www.shambaughleadership.com
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