Learn How to Be, Not How to Do — In Memory of Frances Hesselbein
In memory of my dear friend and mentor Frances Hesselbein, I wanted to share one of the most important and influential leadership principles that she espoused: that leadership is a matter of being rather than doing.
If you’re not familiar with the legacy of Frances, she’s best known for her own leadership roles, which included serving as the CEO of The Girl Scouts from 1976 to 1990, leadership appointments at West Point, and being a founding member of the Peter Drucker Foundation, which was later called The Frances Hesselbein Institute. In 1998, she also wrote 27 books, including Be, Know, Do: Leadership the Army Way, and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor in America.
But as influential as her actions were, Frances’s contributions to leadership stretch far beyond what she did as a leader. Who she was as a person—what she knew about “how to be” in her leadership roles and in everyday life—resonated even more powerfully. “How to be” for Frances meant authenticity, curiosity, and intentional listening. It also meant devoting her life to generous, selfless service, integrity, and a code of ethics, reflecting her guiding motto of “to serve is to live.”
“Being” for Frances also meant embodying the principles she held most deeply: helping others understand that the collective success of organizations and institutions traces back to the power of diversity and inclusion, breaking down barriers and building trust companywide. What does “learning how to be” as a leader mean in your own leadership role, and how can you channel this powerful principle in your work and life, like Frances did so successfully? Here are some thoughts, inspired by Frances, on learning how to be, not how to do:
Focus on Character
What determines leadership performance and results? Frances often emphasized that the answer is the quality and character of the leader. This is why leadership is truly a matter of how to be, not how to do. Yet many of us focus primarily on learning what and how to do things, and teaching others how to do them too. Instead of always drilling down on doing, think about how you can use language, behavior, and actions to align with your values and principles.
Frances shared with me that that all leaders should pay special attention to self-awareness and self-improvement. This can be something as simple as finetuning your manners, as reflected in your speech and decisions. As a leader, you can measure these qualities against your core values, which will help convey from within what you stand for, as you’ll better embody the philosophies you care about the most.
Check for Unconscious Bias
Since Frances advocated that leaders regularly conduct self-evaluation to reach their full potential, one area to take an unflinching look at is whether you’re operating from unconscious bias. As I’ve frequently said, if you have a brain, you have a bias, so there’s no shame if, in your self-reflection, you unearth a specific bias—as long as you take steps to self-correct.
The human brain, through heuristics, is wired to take mental shortcuts to process information and make quick decisions. To “be” a better leader in everything you do, flag your own biases and reset your mental models as needed. If you notice that you’re making unconscious assumptions, then it’s time to remove the labels and see things with fresh eyes. One way that Frances did this was by refusing to keep people in categories through traditional mindsets. For example, she was careful to see leaders of both genders as simply leaders, rather than singling out women as “women leaders.” Instead, she recommended referring to “leaders who are women.”
Integrate Head and Heart
Frances shared with me that learning how to be, not how to do, requires not just your head and things you think consciously about, but also your heart. She knew that the best leaders experienced no division between their head and heart when making leadership decisions for their teams and companies.
An example of this type of leadership can be seen in Millennials. I remember once, when I was visiting Frances at her New York office, she told me that what gives her hope, strength, and inspiration during challenging times is this new generation of leadership. Many Millennials seem to have a natural ability integrate their head with their heart, which you can see in this generational cohort’s common traits:
- Adept at technology (head)
- Strength in multi-tasking (head)
- Understanding the importance of teamwork (heart)
- Valuing inclusion (heart)
- Being open to change (heart)
- Embodying personal and social responsibility (heart)
When I think about Millennial leadership and how much Frances appreciated these emerging leaders, I also can see that Frances reflected these values in her own leadership. She embodied the fact that while it’s important to continue to embrace learning, training, and developing your skill set—your “doing” skills—you must integrate these with your authentic nature and things you care about to be most effective as a leader. When you understand how to be beyond just how to do, you can embrace and inhabit what’s most essential about leadership and service, just like Francis did.
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Rebecca Shambaugh is a recognized author and speaker on leadership best practices. She is president of SHAMBAUGH Leadership, founder of Women in Leadership and Learning, and author of the bestselling books It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor and Make Room for Her: Why Companies Need an Integrated Leadership Model to Achieve Extraordinary Results.
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